Wisdom of the Aged made simple

An American man qualifies for full Social Security benefits on his 65th birthday. Few know that after 20 years he qualifies for Unsocial Security benefits: Whatever he remembers about long-ago sports events, political arguments and his appeal to females, is good enough; it is his right to be as goofy as though he were a member of Congress.

Radio talk shows are credited with inventing the seven-second delay in broadcasting comments by callers who might be creative in the use of license-busting words of four letters and up. Actually this emulates the long-standing seven-second delay in what is said to an octogenarian and the moment the octogenarian hears it, sometimes called the in-one-ear-out-the-other syndrome. That’s why you know so few 80-year-olds named Speedy.