It only hurts when I list

Why not? I’ve been asked to do goofier things than list some of the little things a person with multiple system atrophy (MSA) may deal with during a day. These are not the spectacular things, such as falling over in the kitchen and leaving the eggs to keep frying solo.

 
These are little things that people seldom talk about outside their support groups.

 

There’s the pain in the back of the neck that pops up when you turn your head, or lift something, or for no apparent reason.

 

Then there is the frustration trimming fingernails when the thumb’s too weak to click the nail trimmer.

 

Or dropping a glass of iced tea you thought you were holding securely.

 

How about the vocal cords acting up during a conversation, like a violin squeaking?

 

Or choking and gagging that feels a lot like waterboarding, triggered by a drop of moisture or a breath of fresh air.

 

Maybe speaking to the person whose shadow just moved up beside you and getting no answer because you’re all alone.

 

Starting to gasp like an old steam locomotive spinning its wheels, then stopping whoever’s starting to call 911.

 

Walking off the edge of the sidewalk because straight lines are tricky.

 

Squinting at the TV screen because your headache du jour is distracting, like a wriggle of electric current across your eyebrows.

 

Little things can annoy, especially if they are mosquitoes or gnats, but they are less annoying than big things, like angry elephants or rolling out of bed and breaking the other hip.

 

The best thing I can say about this is that nobody actually likes MSA and its incurable misdemeanors, but among the scores of victims I’ve known via the Internet, there are doers, planners and givers, but no whiners. The confidence that medical science will find a cure for this and other diseases is virtually unanimous. Maybe it will be soon, maybe not. Meanwhile, some support research, some pray, some write lists.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Split personality? What about split persons?

Texted prayer
 

God, whose presence in my heart

   clears my path before I start;

God, whose love within my eye

   keeps my vision leveled high;

God, whose purpose in my feet

   makes my journey straight and fleet;

God, whose life within my blood

   gives me power of tropic flood;

God, whose breath enlivens me

   opens windows, shares the key;

God whose spirit’s everywhere

   reads all thoughts as texted prayer.

A. E. P. (ED) WALL

 Split personality?
What about split persons?
 

Split personalities are just what the doctor ordered if you are writing a movie script or hosting a televised talk show. But Americans especially, and many other folks, are born into a formally declared belief that all persons are created equal.

          That was understood, in the 18th century, to mean that social classes are artificial, that candlemakers and cooks have just as much dignity, and are just as entitled to justice, as any lord, count, bishop, baron or princess.

         The absence of equality in personal wealth, health, housing, employment and personality was known to all.

          Voters, workers, capitalists and citizens of all races include the bright, the beautiful and the ugly. Nations and neighborhoods are populated by the gifted, along with sociopaths, psychopaths, thieves, killers and rapists who have jobs, shop in the supermarket, patronize the movie theater, date daughters and raise their hands when volunteers are called for.

         Some are Christians, some are not, some are Republicans, some are not. Do angry sociopaths interpret Bible verses the same way smiling optimists do?

          Do they hear the promises of political candidates the same way?

          Everybody is created equal. The presidents of the United States and Iran, the creators of Windows and the Edsel, Italian Catholic bishops Chinese Methodists, children going to school in Japan and in Afghanistan, all find that equality is subject to definition.

          Some equality is handed out, like the number of toes ordinarily provided at birth. Some has to be reached for, like the rights due to women. An equality obscured by prejudice, power and politics is everyone’s equal access beyond the sublime to the divine. Just as some believe in no religion, some believe in all religions.